I was recently invited to join a podcast on wellness with our friends and colleagues at Wellness Theory, focusing specifically on the concept of a “healing journey.” Drawing from my personal experiences with self-healing, the conversation was casual and relaxed. In preparing for the interview, I reflected on what encapsulated my own journey and the experiences of my clients, who often come to Breathes Wellness seeking change due to specific issues.
It ultimately came down to seven key questions.
Often, when starting a healing journey, we reach a point where we’ve either hit rock bottom or are tired of the constant impact of unhealed wounds. We may not always know the causes behind these impacts, but by tuning inwards and approaching the situation with curiosity, we can begin to unravel the reasons why these wounds affect us. Before diving into these seven questions, I want to acknowledge your bravery. Even if we don’t know each other, I’m proud of you for choosing to embark on this journey rather than merely putting a band-aid on the wounds and hoping they’ll disappear.
When we avoid starting the healing journey, we often distract ourselves with habits that help us pretend we’re okay—like binge-watching TV, overeating, becoming overly involved in others’ lives, using stimulants, or partying regularly to escape the pain. I know this pattern all too well; I lived it for over 20 years before deciding to end the cycle of anxiety and panic attacks. So, I commend you for taking this step. The healing journey can be tough and may require letting go of people who no longer serve us, even if they are family or lifelong friends.
If you’re committed to your healing journey, there are some things you need to know.
It Starts with Self-Inquiry and Self-Awareness
Whether you seek help from a therapist, coach, healer, or embark on a self-healing journey, it all begins with awareness. You can save time and money by starting this step on your own. A therapist or coach can help increase your self-awareness, but you can achieve the same outcome through self-inquiry, by being genuinely curious about what’s happening within you. This phase is similar to a two-year-old child constantly asking “why.” By tapping into your thoughts and feelings about your wounds, you can expedite the healing process.
Drawing from cognitive behavioral therapy principles (and going even deeper), we can create an action plan to address the issues at hand by asking the following questions—something I found lacking during my years in and out of therapy, which is why I became a wellness and mindset coach instead.
Thoughts and Feelings
Let’s start with the present. This first set of questions is usually the easiest part of the self-awareness process. If you like writing, jot down your answers and review them afterward. If you prefer speaking, record your responses and listen back to them. Take your time, as this may bring up other thoughts and feelings. Make a note of these, as they’ll be helpful for the next set of questions.
- What do I think about the wounds I’m currently carrying?
- How do I feel about the wounds I’m currently carrying?
The Past
The second set of questions delves into the past and is often the hardest part of self-awareness. This process can take months or longer to fully explore. I found myself needing to take breaks as the thoughts and feelings became overwhelming. Facing these dark thoughts and feelings was where true healing began, leading to heavy, ugly crying and a lot of forgiveness—toward myself and others. Stick with it; it’s worth it. Remember, you don’t have to do this alone. If you’ve already answered the first set of questions, you’ve saved time and money with a coach, therapist, or healer. Keep asking “why” like a curious child.
- Why do I think this way about the wounds I’m currently carrying?
- Why do I feel this way about the wounds I’m currently carrying?
The Future
The last set of questions is focused on the future and is generally less heavy. We often already know what we don’t want to feel or think about our past pain. Use this understanding to guide you toward the opposite of those thoughts and feelings. Sit with this, practice self-compassion, and notice what sensations arise when you envision yourself thinking and feeling better about your wounds, rather than bitter, hurt, or angry.
- How do I want to think about the wounds I’m carrying?
- How do I want to feel about the wounds I’m carrying?
Lights, Camera, ACTION
The final question addresses the difference between therapy and coaching. Understanding why I felt and thought the way I did about my grief and trauma was helpful, but without an action plan, nothing changed.
- What are the gaps between the present and the future versions of how I think and feel about the wounds I’m carrying, and what needs to be done to close these gaps?
Again, you don’t have to do this alone. I started with a list of things I wanted to do to heal, and that list continues to grow. It began with yoga, journaling, and researching ways to overcome my issues, followed by trial and error in applying these tools. Some worked well, while others had little impact. Finding the right tools that work for you takes time.
The Last Word
Lastly, while you may have a date marking the start of your healing journey, the reality is that there’s no end date. Healing is a lifelong process. New issues may arise, causing setbacks or pauses. Old thoughts and feelings you thought you’d dealt with may resurface. By finding your tools and incorporating them into your daily life, you’ll build resilience. It’s normal to feel like you’re hitting rock bottom again sometimes, but remember that you’ve developed layers of support to help you navigate these challenges. You’ve got this. You are the driver, not your fears.
And if you ever need help, there is always support available. We offer a free 30-minute consultation that you can book online.
P.S. We will post the link to the podcast when it has been made public!