When Your Worst Fears Come True: Finding Strength in the Unimaginable

We all have those fears—the ones that lurk in the background of our minds, whispering what if? What if the ground beneath me gives way? What if the things I rely on the most suddenly disappear? What if the life I know changes overnight?

For years, I carried fears like these. And then, in what felt like a cruel twist of fate, they became my reality.

One of my dearest loved ones was diagnosed with terminal brain cancer. At the same time, my husband—my partner in this expat life—lost his job, which meant we also lost our sponsored health insurance and visa status. Three months have passed, and while we’re still searching for the right opportunity for him, the uncertainty lingers.

I had imagined that if something like this ever happened, I would collapse under the weight of it all. That I’d be lost in grief, anxiety, and fear. That it would be too much.

But here’s five things that I’ve learned:

1. Reality Is Hard, But It’s Not as Terrifying as the Mind Makes It

Before, these scenarios existed in the realm of my worst nightmares, painted with the darkest, most catastrophic brushstrokes. But now, I’m living it. And while it’s painful and uncertain, it’s also… manageable. Not easy, but not as all-consuming as I had imagined. The mind has a way of making fear bigger than reality. The truth is, when you’re in it, you just do the next thing. You take it day by day. You adapt.

2. Resilience Is Built in the Moments You Want to Give Up

I used to wonder if I had the strength to face something like this. Turns out, I do. It’s not because I’ve suddenly become superhuman. It’s because resilience isn’t something you decide to have—it’s something that grows in you when you have no other choice. You take a deep breath, you make the hard phone call, you face another day. And somehow, you keep going.

3. Love and Support Matter More Than Anything Else

In the face of these challenges, I’ve been held together by the people around me. Friends who check in. The community that reminds me I’m not alone. The small gestures that mean everything. The weight of this hasn’t disappeared, but it’s been shared—and that has made all the difference.

4. Uncertainty Is Exhausting, But It’s Also a Teacher

I won’t pretend that uncertainty isn’t frustrating, terrifying, and deeply uncomfortable. It is. But it’s also shown me how to surrender, how to live in the present, and how to trust in the unknown—even when I don’t like it.

5. Life Moves Forward, Even in the Hardest Moments

When this all began, I thought time would stop. That everything would be consumed by grief and fear. But life keeps going. There are still moments of joy, laughter, and beauty, even amidst the struggle. I’ve learned to find and cherish them because they remind me that even in the hardest seasons, life is still worth living fully.

So, What Now?

Three months later, we’re still in the thick of it. There’s no neat resolution. But I’m standing. We’re standing. We’re figuring it out.

And if there’s one thing I know for sure, it’s this:  I am stronger than I thought.

So, if you’re facing your own worst fears—if life has thrown you into the storm—you might not believe me yet, but you are stronger than you think too.

One step, one breath, one day at a time.

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Have you ever faced a fear that became reality? What did you learn about yourself? Let’s talk in the comments.

TULLY XO