We all carry unspoken blueprints of how life is supposed to look.
The milestones. The relationships. The career path. The moments we imagine will arrive in neat succession, giving our days a sense of order and fulfillment.
But life, as we quickly learn, rarely unfolds according to plan. It bends, it twists, it surprises us. Sometimes with joy, sometimes with heartbreak. And often with a reality that looks vastly different from the picture we once held so tightly.
The truth is, what keeps many of us stuck isn’t the change itself—it’s our attachment to the way things were meant to be.
The Weight of Expectation
Expectation can be heavy. It forms quietly, almost invisibly, as we grow. We absorb it from family, culture, society, or even from our own hopes. We tell ourselves:
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By now I should be here.
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By this age I should have achieved that.
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By this stage life should feel like this.
And when life doesn’t align with those expectations, we feel disoriented. We grieve not only what we don’t have, but also the image of what we thought we would.
This is where suffering often lingers. Not in the reality itself, but in the tug-of-war between what is and what we imagined.
Surrendering to the Flow
What if there was another way?
Instead of fighting the current, we can learn to soften. To release the grip on how things “should” have been. To let go, not in defeat, but in trust.
Surrender is not passive—it’s powerful. It’s the practice of saying: I may not have chosen this, but I choose how I move through it.
And when we allow life to be what it is, we start to notice the beauty we might otherwise miss.
Finding Beauty in What Remains
Beauty is rarely absent. It may not look like the grand picture we once envisioned, but it lives in the details:
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In the laughter shared at a simple dinner table.
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In a community gathering together for a wellness morning, mats laid out by the sea.
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In the sunrise that greets us each day, steady and constant.
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In the strength of our own body, carrying us through a yoga flow.
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In the kindness of strangers, or the support of friends who walk beside us.
When we loosen our grip on expectation, these small yet profound moments rise to the surface. We begin to realize that beauty is not conditional—it exists, always. We only need the eyes to see it.
From “Meant to Be” to “Meant to Grow”
“It wasn’t meant to be this way.” How often have we whispered those words?
But perhaps the invitation is to see it differently. Maybe life is less about things being “meant to be” and more about us being “meant to grow.”
The situations that feel most unlike the script we had written for ourselves are often the ones that shape us most deeply. They stretch us, test us, and open us to resilience we didn’t know we carried.
Every detour is an opportunity—not to deny the pain or disappointment, but to expand our capacity to trust, to adapt, and to discover unexpected gifts.
A Practice for Today
If you feel caught in the gap between how things are and how you thought they would be, try this simple reflection:
Acknowledge the picture you had imagined. Write it down. Be honest about what you thought life would look like.
Name the grief. Recognize the loss of that picture—it matters, and it’s okay to feel it.
Shift the lens. Ask yourself: What beauty is still here? Write down three things—no matter how small.
Release the “should.” Whisper it aloud if you need to: I release what I thought should have been, and I open to what is.
This gentle practice creates space. Space for presence. Space for gratitude. Space for peace.
Closing Thought
Life may not look the way you planned. And yet, in its unfolding, it offers you moments of grace, resilience, and unexpected joy.
It wasn’t meant to be this way—
and yet, maybe it was.
✨ Reflection prompt: What expectation could you loosen your hold on today, to create more space for peace and possibility?
Tully XO